


Hellsing's Pet Vampire and Top Gear's Tame Racing Driver

by The_Dimension_Crossing_Mew



Series: Who Is The Stig? [1]
Category: Hellsing, Top Gear (UK) RPF
Genre: Crossover, Drabble, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-28
Updated: 2013-08-28
Packaged: 2017-12-24 23:08:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/945772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Dimension_Crossing_Mew/pseuds/The_Dimension_Crossing_Mew
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some say that he hunts vampires, and that he takes his orders from a woman in a suit... Just who is The Stig? First in a series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hellsing's Pet Vampire and Top Gear's Tame Racing Driver

Having just finished driving and evaluating the latest supercar to enter the studio, Jeremy Clarkson turned to the camera and delivered one of the most anticipated lines on Top Gear.

“And now we turn it over to our tame racing driver.” The camera zoomed in on him. “Some say that his preferred drink is human blood, and that he is actually a vampire in Her Majesty’s service. All we know is… he’s called… The Stig!”

On a racing circuit in a secret location, red eyes gleamed behind a blue-tinted visor and a fang-filled manic grin stretched across a face hidden by a white racing helmet. A white gloved hand turned up the radio as the engine of the supercar revved.

A little known fact about vampires: while daylight made null most of a vampire’s powers, it had the interesting side effect of increasing their driving skills.

The supercar peeled off the line in a cloud of smoke to the sound of tire squeal and the lyrics of The Rolling Stones’ Sympathy for the Devil.

In a large mansion in the British countryside Sir Integra, unaware of her tame vampire’s day job, screamed in fury as her search through the Hellsing mansion for the red cloaked Nosferatu came up empty. 

As he barreled around the Hammerhead and entered the follow-through at insane speeds, Alucard’s grin grew even wider as he sensed his master’s rage. He supposed that it was a good thing that few in the Hellsing Organization were fans of Top Gear.


End file.
